soul sleeping.

i'm tired.

tired of not sleeping.
tired of eating.
tired of drinking when i know i shouldn't.
tired of knowing i should be feeling something.
tired of feeling i should know something.

i'm tired of waking up and dreading the day to come.
i'm tired of staying at home.
i'm tired of going out.
i'm tired of people.
i'm tired of being alone.

tired of feeling selfless.
tired of feeling selfish.
tired of feeling senseless and depraved and directionless.
tired of wanting what i shouldn't want.
tired of acting older than i should be.
tired of being younger than i should be.

i'm tired of cooking for myself when i know i'm the only one home.

i'm tired of rounding out my character when no one is there to notice.

i'm tired of trying and trying and getting nowhere.

i'm tired of being one thing to everyone, and not everything to someone.